Do you have an explosive child? Are tantrums taking over family life? We all know how utterly exhausting it is dealing with tantrums, but did you know that the way we respond to our child’s tantrums not only puts a stop to the behaviour we don’t like, it’s also key to our child’s future mental well-being and how they manage their behaviour and emotions for life? As many of you know, my daughter used to have the most epic MASSIVE meltdowns which was one of the reasons I became a parenting coach. I’m thankful every single day I found Language of Listening® the coaching model changed my life and my daughter’s, and the many many families I support.
Have you ever wondered why your child won't listen unless you shout? I want to show you how to get the kids to listen without shouting, threats or bribes and what to do when your child doesn't listen. One of the biggest challenges in parenting is getting our kids to listen willingly. We can begin to overcome this challenge by understanding things from our child’s point of view. But first, it helps to consider how our usual responses often make the situation worse.
I've teamed up with Worthing Mums and Dads as their parenting expert, answering parent's questions.This post was originally seen there. Do you have a toddler that refuses to listen? I'll show you how to get your child to listen and behave. Question: My 2 1/2 year old does not listen. Other mums have been surprised at her obvious and intentional ignorance – and it’s with many, many different things! Even if I just say her name, sometimes she’ll look me in the eye, smirk and run away. I’ve tried ‘positive parenting’ and explaining things gently, coming down to her level etc… But it doesn’t get through. I’ve tried taking away luxuries, but she thinks it’s a game. She laughs if I do raise my voice and get cross. She has run away, towards the road, the last couple of times I’ve collected her from nursery and on Monday I broke down crying in front of the nursery workers and other parents because she just wouldn’t listen and was pulling away from me – was totally embarrassing!!
Coping with tantrums is without doubt, one of the most draining and challenging problems of raising children. Dealing with a child's constant tantrums is very stressful, understanding why tantrums happen and how to respond can help put a stop to them for good. Often, we don’t realise that we are adding more fuel to the fire, and a meltdown can quickly get out of hand and last far longer than necessary.
Do you feel like you’re forever losing your cool? You’re stuck in a negative cycle of shouting and punishments and still your child doesn’t change his behaviour? Maybe you feel like giving up, as whatever you do, you still can’t get through to him. Maybe you’re fed up feeling like they don’t respect you or take you seriously. Truthfully. it leaves you feeling like a terrible parent and you can’t seem to break the cycle. However hard you try.
As difficult as it can be, apologising to your child is a great way to model how to take responsibility for your actions and learn from them, it also shows that to make mistakes is normal, it is to be human. You want your child to be able to take accountability for their own actions, know it’s O.K to make mistakes and how to repair, find solutions and move on. Read on to find out what to say and what not to say when you apologise to your child.
Is your child’s constant whining the background noise of your life? Are you feeling frustrated about how to handle their behaviour? Maybe you’ve tried to ignore it only for it to get louder and louder, and you’re running out of patience. You're not alone. Lots of parents are dealing with this kind of ear-splitting behaviour, but all is not lost. Read on to find out more about how you can stop the whining for good.
What should have been a lovely bonding time for our family ended in chaos. We’d been to crazy golf, and before long, it ended in tears, stomping off and meltdowns. My daughter was losing, so she wanted to take multiple swings and take the ball and place it where it was easy to get it in the hole. The other families looked on in shock as a heated argument broke out. And as you’d expect… this trip didn’t end well.
The school mums meant well, but I really needed them to stop talking, They couldn't stop my daughter's tantrum - here's what worked instead. I was eager to collect my 7-year-old daughter from school. I’d dropped her off that morning with her swimming bag packed. She’d prepared her swimsuit, towel and goggles days ago, ready to swim with her class for the first time. As I waited by the school gates, I watched her coming towards me. She didn’t look as animated as I thought she would be - a bit wet and bedraggled, and not happy.
It's 5 minutes before we have to leave for school. The kids don’t have their shoes on, the sun-cream is not applied, and my daughter’s hair looks a mess. AGHHHHH. And here it is. This. is. the. fork in the road. It’s our own reactions that make all the difference to how this situation unfolds. I give a 5-minute warning. And no response from my daughter. At least my son is busy putting his shoes on. I find my daughter trying to watch a YouTube video, even though we have a no-screen-before-school-rule.
I sat at the table while my strong-willed toddler let out an enormous screech. We were having lunch at a local café and after a short while she wanted up out of her seat. I leaned in close and offered a few calming words to try and get her to sit a bit longer. It didn’t work. She screeched even louder. My cheeks turned red as the other customers gawped at this unfolding power struggle.