Inside: Uncover the true reasons behind your child’s stubborn behaviour and learn how to address it effectively.
If you’re dealing with a child who insists on getting their way, read on.
I thought I had a stubborn child on my hands
Little miss stubborn
My daughter seemed to have transformed overnight into a whirlwind of stubbornness. Every request met with resistance, every “no” met with a meltdown.
She wanted her way, and if she didn’t get it, chaos erupted. leaving me feeling completely overwhelmed and frustrated.
To begin with I had no idea what was going on. Was this just a phase? Did I have a brat on my hands? Was she just doing it for attention?
All I knew that her behaviour couldn’t go on like it was.
I responded by tightening the rules, becoming more strict, convinced that I needed to establish authority and teach her that ‘we can’t always get what we want!”
But it wasn’t working.
She became more defiant and argumentative and her stubbornness only intensified.
Despite my best efforts, we were locked in a power struggle, and I couldn’t understand why nothing was improving
During my Language of Listening® training, what I learned about my daughter’s behaviour was life-changing.
I suddenly understood what was really going and her behaviour changed almost over night.
It wasn’t stubbornness. My daughter wasn’t just being difficult—she was struggling.
Struggling with flexibility, struggling to see another point of view, and struggling to understand that not getting what she wanted right now didn’t mean never getting it.
A powerful way to deal with a stubborn child
The real issue your child seems stubborn
Kids often appear stubborn when they’re actually having difficulty with:
-
Flexibility: Adapting to changes or unexpected situations.
-
Seeing Another Way: Understanding that there can be different solutions to a problem.
-
Delayed Gratification: Realising that not getting what they want immediately doesn’t mean they won’t ever get it.
How do you handle a difficult child?
As I learned more about the Language of Listening way,
It dawned on me that if I wanted to coach her to be more flexible, I couldn’t do it by being inflexible myself.
Holding my ground firmly was only modelling the very behaviour I was trying to change.
Isn’t it funny, (not funny haha, funny strange) how dealing with a stubborn child often makes us more stubborn ourselves?”
So, as I adopted Language of Listening® techniques, I found myself stepping away from stubbornness and stepping into a role where I could truly guide my child.
Instead of clashing, we started collaborating, and I witnessed her growing flexibility in ways I hadn’t anticipated.
Related:
Your Child Argues With Everything You Say? Try This Powerful Solution
Exhausted And Overwhelmed As A Parent? One Simple Strategy
7 Powerful Strategies to Transform Your Child’s Behaviour
How to discipline a stubborn child.
When it comes to disciplining a stubborn child, remember that discipline means “to teach.”
1. Practice FlexibilityShow your child what flexibility looks like. If plans change demonstrate how to handle unexpected situations calmly. Try the STRENGTH tool from Language of Listening framework, to spot and celebrate every time your child shows flexibility. Even small steps in the right direction can change how your child sees themselves. Repeatedly showing them they are flexible helps reinforce this behaviour. Click here to download the STRENGTH eBOOK and start recognising your child’s strengths today! It’s the quickest way to change your child’s behaviour. 2. Offer AlternativesHelp your child see that there are often multiple ways to solve a problem or achieve a goal. If they can’t have what they want right now, guide them toward other possibilities. Remember, a stubborn child is often one who won’t give up easily—a great quality, even if it’s challenging to manage. Instead of trying to stop them from pursuing their desires, help them find ways to achieve what they want while respecting others’ boundaries. This approach is much more effective in the long run. 3. Teach Patience and Delayed GratificationExplain that not getting something immediately doesn’t mean never getting it. Lots of kids find it tough to handle frustration and see the bigger picture. As their life coach, you can support them by becoming their emotional guide, helping them learn patience and bounce back from setbacks. |
Turning Stubbornness into STRENGTHs
I started incorporating these strategies and noticed a remarkable change. Instead of clashing over every little thing, we began to work together.
-
When I showed flexibility, she started to mirror that behaviour.
-
When I offered alternatives, she became more open to them.
-
When I used the STRENGTH tool her flexibility and problem solving skills grew.
Final Thoughts – A powerful way to deal with a stubborn child
By modelling the behaviour I wanted to see and addressing the underlying struggles rather than just the symptoms, we found a new harmony.
Remember, stubbornness is often a sign of deeper challenges. By understanding what’s really going on, you can coach your child to manage their own behaviour, gain lifelong skills, and, best of all, they feel proud of themselves.
At your wit’s end with your child’s behaviour and looking for something that really works? Want a simple, actionable plan that can start making a difference in just a few minutes a day?
The Language of Listening Collection, £15
Get immediate access to 3 eBooks with practical tools and step by step guidance to better behaviour and more joy at home
Page by page you’ll find easy and practical solutions to real life dilemmas faced by parents, just like you.
No punishments, bribes, or rewards needed—just happy kids and even happier parents!
Feeling overwhelmed with parenting challenges? Get online parenting support now.
I offer 1-2-1 coaching support to a more enjoyable, joyful family life.
You don’t have to go it alone! I’m here to help.
As a qualified, authorised child behaviour specialist and parenting coach, I provide personalised support and practical solutions to turn your parenting challenges into a calm, happy, peaceful home.
Parent coaching is like having a trusty guide on your parenting journey Let’s chat. You can schedule a complimentary, no-obligation call. You can do that by clicking right here.
What other parents are saying after working with me:
“Camilla was the answer to our prayers. I am endlessly grateful to her and only wish I’d found her sooner.” Louisa, Mum of 2
“Camilla coached us through different methods. Methods which I had never thought about, but gave us incredible results in a very short space of time, methods which we still use now and are so easy to implement on a daily basis. I am no longer the shouty mum I used to be. And my relationship with my kids has changed so much, I often wonder why I hadn’t started this journey sooner.’ Lucy, Mum of 3
“I was stuck in a pretty unpleasant vicious circle, with three awesome small children and was ruining it. I was afraid they would grow up and not trust me. Within the first couple of weeks working with Camilla I saw positive changes.” Claire, Mum of 3
Ready to take the first step toward the family life you’ve been dreaming of?
