Skip to content
  • Home
  • About Me
  • Work with me
  • Shop
  • Blog
  • Testimonials
  • Contact
Menu
  • Home
  • About Me
  • Work with me
  • Shop
  • Blog
  • Testimonials
  • Contact

Why Children Cheat or Are Sore Losers And How Best to Help Them

If your child is cheating or a sore loser, we know that’s not very healthy, and we often want to put a stop to it by any means. But when you really look at what’s their need behind cheating or being a sore loser, it will completely shift your perspective and the way in which you respond to your child.

I know many adults who still rage if they lose.

My daughter used to be a sore loser, she’d storm off if she lost a game.  If she didn’t win you could guarantee she’d fling the game and all its pieces across the room. Nothing changed until I understood what was really going on, and when I did it blew my mind.

Growing up I was told that if you let a child win, then they won’t want to lose. In fact I found it’s the complete opposite.

If you have a child who HAS to win, it’s driven by a NEED. These are real needs, getting your needs met is an innate drive for all humans. Check out my Language of Listening booklets where you’ll find how to spot the NEED behind your child’s behaviour.

Your child NEEDS to have the sense of being a winner. Your child needs to have the sense of capability, competence, and a strong belief in themselves… this is fundamental for your child.

By denying that need, what are you really doing? You’re just pushing you child somewhere else to get their need met, and this is when they cheat in games, elbow other children out the way to win in a race or fight with their siblings to be the best, or become a “perfectionist” to prove to themselves that only the best will do.

As parents, we don’t need to deny the NEED to win. We can find a space in their life for our child to reprogram that thought of ”I’m a loser” into on one of ”I am a winner”.

You don’t want your child to have a mentality of: “If I lose, it’s the proof I’m not good enough.” Or that they feel like they have to prove their self-worth. We want to alter that thought process.

Once I could understand why my daughter’s reacted the way she did to losing, it all made so much sense. I realised that I could help her get her need fulfilled. I started thinking where can I create the opportunity in my daughter’s life so she feels like a winner? How can I set up opportunities for my daughter to feel capable, competent, and a winner?  Do you want practical step by step advice?  Click here to read what you can do to turn your child into accepting defeat gracefully

When children get enough experiences to build up their sense of self as a winner, they don’t need to prove it by winning. Losing isn’t attached to their self-worth of “I’m a loser, I’m not good enough”.

When they prove to themselves that they are a winner, they automatically shift over and become generous. They can actually get excited if someone else wins, they can play fair and they can do all that because they no longer have to prove every second that there are a winner. – They know they are.

When you coach your child to fill their need in an appropriate way they can go out in the world and know who they are,  they no longer have to fight for that. They know they are a winner regardless of the outcome. A person who feels powerful, a person who feels like a winner is a calm and generous person, they’re not out there to win over someone in order to feel good about themselves.

When you spend your time coaching your child to see themselves as a winner, you will naturally bring out their best and they will change their own behaviour to reflect that.

Do you want practical step by step advice?  Click here to read what you can do to turn your child into accepting defeat gracefully

OTHER POSTS YOU MIGHT LIKE

  • IS Your Child a Sore Loser? The Best Ever Solution To help them Lose Gracefully
  • “How Do I Stop Shouting At My Child? Help!”
  • 5 Surprising Ways to Raise Emotionally Intelligent Children

Want to know an easy parenting strategy that really works?

FREE DOWNLOAD - 'HOW TO GET YOUR KIDS TO LISTEN'

It's so simple, yet works like magic, you'll be left wondering "Why did no-one ever tell me this before?" Imagine...
  • No more shouting out of pure frustration
  • No more bribing or threatening just do get your kids to do as you ask
  • No more power struggles and stress
YES, PLEASE

FREE DOWNLOAD 

 

Hi I’m Camilla!

I support parents to restore harmony to their household and fun to their family life.  

I have a teen and a nearly teen and I know just what it’s like to navigate the trials and tribulations of parenting. 

Dive into the large collection of blog posts for free parenting guidance.

“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.”― Dr. Seuss, I Can Read With My Eyes Shut!

About me

It will give you a simple yet powerful way to gain the willing cooperation you’re after. 

Imagine:

  • No more shouting out of pure frustration
  • No more bribing or threatening just to get your kids to do as you ask
  • No more power struggles and stress

Sign up

3 Language of Listening® Printable Phrase Booklets

You just want to know what to say or do…RIGHT NOW!!!

Page by page you’ll find HUNDREDS of examples of EXACTLY what to say to your child in MOMENTS YOU FACE EVERYDAY. SAY WHAT YOU SEE®, STRENGTHs, and CAN DOs.

FIND OUT MORE
LoLSeal_AuthorizedResource_2400
75443059_966274480400465_4977983738785824768_n

Get In Touch

  • 07958 941 802
  • camilla@keepingyourcoolparenting.com

Keeping Your Cool

Parenting

  • Join My Facebook Group
  • Terms and Conditions
  • Privacy Policy
  • My Account

Designed By MB-sites.com