Help! Amazingly Easy Way To Get Your Kids Out The Door In the Mornings.
Mornings can feel like a mad dash—kids not listening, shoes missing, and everyone running late and before you know it you’ve lost your cool and the day starts with tears and cross words.
But there’s a way to keep your cool and make mornings smoother for everyone!
It’s five minutes until we need to leave for school. No shoes on, packed lunch on the counter, and my daughter’s hair? Let’s just say it’s a disaster. AGHHHHH.
I give my classic “5 minutes, let’s go!” warning. My son starts putting his shoes on.
But my daughter? She’s glued to a YouTube video—despite our “no screens before school” rule.
“It’s JUST come out, Mom! I need to watch it right now! You’re going to have to wait!”
Oof. Every word feels like a sting. My eyes narrow.
She knows the rule. And that tone? How dare she speak to me like that?!
If you’ve been to any of my classes or read my book, you know this is the make-or-break moment: do we escalate, or do we de-escalate the situation?
An Amazing Easy Way To Get Your Kids Out The Door In The Morning Without Losing It.
Let’s explore ways we can get your kids out the door in the morning.
Our response either escalate or de-escalate the situation.
Let’s start with the “I’m about to lose it” scenario.
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The Escalation. It sounds something like: “How dare you talk to me like that! You’re so rude! You know the rules, and now you’re making us late again!”Cue: Daughter screaming back, “You’re so mean! You never understand me!”So you reply: “Keep that up, and no screens after school! And you can forget about that party this weekend!”Sound familiar?Now, we’re both shouting, tensions are sky-high, and as we finally get in the car, no one is talking, everyone’s in a mood. Not the morning we had in mind, right? |
Let’s hit rewind and do this differently.
And get your kids out the door in the morning without losing it
There’s a way to de-escalate, respond calmly, and get out the door without turning the morning into total chaos.
But first, a quick note:
This isn’t about permissive parenting. I’m not saying let your kids back-talk their way through life.
Boundaries? Still there.
The secret is all in how we enforce them.
Before we do anything…
It’s all about connection, understanding and empathy.
This one’s a game changer.
Neuroscience even backs it up: empathy calms the brain down. When emotions are running high, both you and your kid are stuck in survival mode (hello, fight or flight).
We know this to be true. Because when it’s all loud and chaotic at home… you too find it impossible to think clearly!
Same thing happens with kids. No learning, just reacting.
When we’re in reactive brain mode, good decisions aren’t happening—just more yelling, more frustration, and the same problem popping up again tomorrow.
Amazingly Easy Way To Get Your Kids Out The Door In the Mornings
Now, I know first hand how hard it is to remain calm when your kid is pushing all your buttons. We want to teach them a lesson right now.
But how can we expect them to talk calmly when we’re shouting or threatening them with consequences?
At this point, or goal is simple: Calm things down.
Think about it—
When your child feels calm, understood, and things are running smoothly, she doesn’t speak to you in that tone, right?
So if we focus on calming the situation first, everything else—like communication—naturally starts to fall into place.
It’s like trying to drive a car with a flat tire. You wouldn’t just keep driving—you’d stop and fix the tire. And once that’s done, the journey becomes much smoother. It’s the same with our kids: calm the chaos, and the rest will follow.
Here’s where we turn things around. Amazingly Easy Way To Get Your Kids Out The Door In the Mornings
Let’s go!
5 steps to get your kids out the door in the morning without losing it1. Take a pause.Kids’ behaviour is their way of communicating. It’s not about you; it’s about what’s going on for them. If we pause a moment we get clearer on what’s really happening, open up communication, and find solutions that actually work. 2. Look Behind the Behaviour.Start by pausing and asking yourself: What’s really going on here? In my case, my daughter was frustrated. She knew she didn’t have time to watch the video and that she knew she shouldn’t have been watching it in the first place. Her tone wasn’t great, and it’s easy to think she was just disobeying me and that a punishment or a telling off would fix it. But when we only focus on the rule being broken, we miss the bigger picture. Understanding why our child is acting out allows us to respond with guidance, not just react with frustration.3. Acknowledge Their True Intentions.Start by validating your child’s true intentions. This helps de-escalate the situation. It’s what allows them to shift from reactive to rational. Yes, the backtalk feels like the issue, but it’s really just the frustration talking. The calmer your child gets, the less reactive they’ll be. That’s the goal, right?
Her response? “Yes! All my friends are watching it, and I don’t want to be left out!” Bingo! Now you can see it’s not about disobedience or pushing boundaries. It’s her natural desire to belong and not miss out with her friends. 4. Find Solutions.Start by helping them find what’s possible within your boundary. It could sound like: “Oh, you’re frustrated. You really want to watch the video, and we’re running late. What CAN you do to be ready on time?” She might say: “Can I finish watching it in the car on the way to school?” Now, it’s your call. Maybe you agree this time, or maybe you decide not to let her watch it. Either way, you’re working together, not against each other. Later, when things are calmer, you can talk about how to avoid this next time. I dive deeper into coming up with solutions that respect your boundaries in my workbook. It’s a life-changer! You get to hold your boundaries AND you have kids who listen to them. – no more power stru 5. Connection is Key.Remember, connecting with your child isn’t about “rewarding bad behaviour.” It’s how you help everyone, including yourself, get back to a calm state where real learning and problem-solving can happen. Boundaries don’t need to be harsh or make your child feel bad to be effective. You can hold firm on rules while still showing understanding and support. It’s all about guiding, not punishing. |
Yes, this takes a bit of work upfront, but trust me, it saves you so much stress in the long run. You’re teaching your child how to regulate their behaviour, find their own solutions, and work with you.
After a deep breath and following my 5 steps, it ended with a quick hug.
And guess what?
We were in the car within five minutes, all smiles, the kids happily chatting away. Crisis averted!
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