My husband and I used to joke that the background noise of our life was my daughter’s whining. The toddler years for me were no easy feat.
And I knew deep down there had to be another way.
With all my years in teaching and my degree in primary education, Nothing prepared me for my toddler’s antics.
A Surprising Way To Get Your Toddler To Listen .
What I like to call a parenting game-changer.
A Surprising Way To Get Your Toddler To Listen
Have you ever found yourself arguing with your toddler? I know I did. I found myself exhausted. Worn out and in this endless power-struggle.
- Her peas were touching the fish fingers.
- She wanted to have the pink cup, even though we left it at grandmas.
- She wanted me to push her high in the swing… BUT she didn’t want to go fast. (Got to love your toddler’s logic!)
And you know what I found myself doing in response…
Using my adult logic to change my daughter’s behaviour. Trying to explain to my illogical toddler. And her listening ears would go out the window.
Where was I going wrong? A Surprising Way To Get Your Toddler To Listen.
I was replying to my daughter as if she understood my logic and reasoning. I thought that if she just could understand WHY then she COULD change her ways.. and not throw a fit over something so ridiculous.
An important piece of information to get your toddler to listen
A toddler’s brain is not the same as an adult brain, Yes! our brains are not fully developed till mid-twenties.
In short, they just don’t think like us, They are:
- Driven by their emotional brain.
- Live in the moment.
- Don’t have adult logic and reasoning.
They don’t understand you can’t go slow in a swing and high at the same time. I mean, they TRULY believe Father Christmas can fly around the world in one night delivering presents.
What to do to get your toddler to listen
Using Language of Listening® The 3-step coaching model I use, always starts with one thing “Say What You See®”
Without questions, judgement, fixing or teaching.
Focus on WHAT is going on for your child at the moment, even if it doesn’t make any sense for you.
- “You wish your peas were on the other side of your plate.”
- “Oh Boy! You really want that cup… and we left it at Grandmas.”
- “Oh sweetie, you’re scared going so fast on the swing AND you want to go high.”
In other words. Acknowledge.
Regardless, how absurd or reactive your child is being, the first step is to acknowledge.
ACKNOWLEDGE what they are doing, saying, feeling, thinking.
The reason this step works like a charm is that a child who feels understood is NOW ready to listen.
When I changed how I responded to my daughter, I asked her why she started to listen to me.
“Because you get me, mummy, you understand me.”
Go figure!
A child who feels understood, however illogical, is then ready to listen to you.
Give it a try and be sure to let me know how you get on.
Are you ready for more? Imagine being able to handle any situation your child throws at you and turn any negative situation into a positive one.
At your wit’s end with your child’s behaviour and looking for something that really works? Want a simple, actionable plan that can start making a difference in just a few minutes a day?
The Language of Listening Collection, £15
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What other parents are saying after working with me:
“Camilla was the answer to our prayers. I am endlessly grateful to her and only wish I’d found her sooner.” Louisa, Mum of 2
“Camilla coached us through different methods. Methods which I had never thought about, but gave us incredible results in a very short space of time, methods which we still use now and are so easy to implement on a daily basis. I am no longer the shouty mum I used to be. And my relationship with my kids has changed so much, I often wonder why I hadn’t started this journey sooner.’ Lucy, Mum of 3
“I was stuck in a pretty unpleasant vicious circle, with three awesome small children and was ruining it. I was afraid they would grow up and not trust me. Within the first couple of weeks working with Camilla I saw positive changes.” Claire, Mum of 3
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