What To Do When Your Child Throws A Tantrum In Public

If you’re new to Language of Listening® (LoL), get ready to discover your secret weapon against tantrums. This coaching model isn’t just about managing behaviour—it’s about transforming your approach to parenting in a way that nurtures connection while coaching your child to bring out their best and manage their own behaviour.

Imagine having the tools to handle tantrums with ease and confidence, knowing exactly what to say and do to turn those challenging moments into opportunities for growth and connection.

That’s the power of Language of Listening.  It’s a game-changer that will have you wondering, “Why did no one ever tell me this before?”

Get ready to unlock the magic of Language of Listening® and say goodbye to tantrums for good!

How to stop your child’s tantrum in public.

Here’s a fresh perspective on tantrums that change everything.

Instead of rushing to calm your child down quickly or avoiding meltdowns altogether, embrace them as opportunities to teach valuable life skills. At Language of Listening, (the coaching model I use and teach) we guide children through their tantrums, coaching them to learn how to self-soothe and manage their emotions effectively.

In the Language of Listening® approach, we’re about coaching kids through their emotions and empowering them to handle their big emotions and calm themselves down.

It’s not about just surviving the tantrums but helping them learn to navigate it themselves—think of it as emotional superhero training!

My clients see significant changes within days. From tantrums dominating family life to becoming virtually non-existent, this transformation is within your grasp too. Click here to book a no obligation call with me if you’d like to find out about my tailored, one-on-one support. Let’s make a positive change together!

Want to become your child’s emotional coach? It’s all laid out for you in my workbook.

When your child throws a tantrum in public it can be hard to know what to do. When you coach your child to master their emotions you’ll see a huge reduction in tantrums and the added bonus of giving them skills for life.

Flip to page 225, where you’ll find over 20 pages dedicated to coaching your child to master self-control and feel proud of managing their big emotions.

Empower yourself with practical strategies that transform meltdowns into moments of growth and confidence. Don’t miss out on this invaluable tool—it’s your roadmap to fostering resilience and harmony at home. Grab your copy today and start making a positive impact on your child’s emotional journey! Click here to order your copy today!

When a child has a tantrum in public it’s typically for one reason:

They want something they can’t have.

That’s either a physical item like a toy in the supermarket aisle, or they don’t want to leave the playground. And how we respond to their wants makes all the difference.

One of the premises of Language of Listening® is everything children do and say is a communication, and children must continue to communicate until they are heard.

That means your child has an innate drive to keep communicating until they are heard. And if you don’t reflect back to your child what they want, (even if it seems silly or what you think of is wrong) you give your child no other option but to escalate their behaviour, they will literally act out to show you. – hello to the hitting, shouting, stomping…

When a child is on a verge of a tantrum, go immediately into saying what they want.

When your child is upset about something, and you go straight into validating their experience, you child feels heard, and the communication loop closes. That means that your child will NOT need to escalate their behaviour in order to show you what they are trying to communicate.

Remember that acknowledging how your child sees something and how they feel about it is not the same as agreeing. It’s understanding why their side makes sense to them.

The first thing you need to do, to stop a tantrum in its tracks.

 When your child throws a tantrum, it makes perfect sense, even if you don’t like it.

Children often act out or throw tantrums when they feel powerless and can’t get what they want.

They screech, stamp their feet, howl, or lash out—it’s their way of asserting themselves and meeting their need for power.

When we talk about the need for power, it’s not about controlling others.

In parenting it’s often misunderstood that if children have power (like autonomy or decision-making), parents automatically lose power or control. However, parenting isn’t like that—it’s about finding ways for both parents and children to have their needs met without one side losing out.

Meet our need for power is about fulfilling the basic human need to feel confident, in control of oneself, and capable of making a positive impact on their surroundings.

Here’s the key: when you help your child satisfy their need for power in ways that you like, they naturally begin to change their own behaviour. By nurturing their sense of autonomy and capability, you empower them to handle their emotions and actions more positively.

Understanding and supporting this need for power can transform how you approach challenging behaviours and strengthen your connection with your child.

What to do when your child throws a tantrum in public.

What can you do to support your child to get their need for power met?

Well! I have a simple yet powerful way to help your child meet their need for power in a way you DO like!

In Language of Listening®, we call this step CAN Dos.

Literally what your child CAN DO that’s within your boundary. This helps you focus on finding solutions that work for everyone. – which naturally meets their need for power.

Quick tip! Make sure you’re not adding fuel to the fire. Don’t disagree with what your child wants or repeat the boundary. Remember your child can want what they want, you don’t have to buy it for them, or stay longer at the park if you don’t want to.

And don’t get into a discussion about why they can’t have what they want, it only increases their need for power and builds resistance.

Your role is to ‘see’ what your child wants, decide if that’s OK with you or not, and get on their side to find solutions. Focus on what your child wants and find solutions that works for you both.

What to do when your child throws a tantrum.

These 3-steps are the key to ending tantrums and meltdowns for good while bringing out your child’s inner strengths.

Your goal is to help them succeed. Then when they succeed, you name that STRENGTH.

By pointing out STRENGTHs it allows your child to see their capability to problem-solve and find solutions.

Your child’s behaviour is guided by their STRENGTHs, (the ones you just pointed out to her) This is what impacts your child’s future behaviour.

Connecting children with their inner STRENGTH is the objective of facilitating their tantrums.

Your child needs to have self-control in order to be able to calm themselves down and stop their tantrum

The truth is that children who have real physical proof that they CAN control themselves and calm themselves down, don’t need you to do it for them. They feel proud of themselves and will show you all the ways they can calm down.

Remember our child feeling powerlessness is the major cause of tantrums.

When your child has a tantrum use these 3 steps together

From the very first time you use Say What You See® you’ll see the situation defuse, from the second time you use these steps, you’ll see your child more able to think of a CAN DO. And the more you keep pointing out your child’s STRENGTHs the more your child will gather proof of their greatness as you’ll be bringing out more of their self-control to better manage their own behaviour.

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