When Your Kids Are Driving You Crazy.
As a parent, you know those days when it feels like your kids are driving you crazy.
The constant demands, the never-ending noise, and the pushing of boundaries, it’s easy to find yourself on the brink of insanity.
But what if I told you that with just one small shift, you could notice a massive change in your child’s behaviour and your sanity?
In this post, we’ll explore the simple yet powerful adjustment that can transform your daily interactions and bring peace back into your home.
Read on to find out how this tiny tweak can make a world of difference.
You’re so sure that if your more stubborn child would just calm down, things would be SO much easier, and you wouldn’t be shouting like a crazy person just to be heard. Well, that’s what I used to think about my daughter and her challenging behaviour.
But did you know that the way we THINK about our children makes all the difference to how we react and in turn the kind of results we get.
I’ve noticed we often judge our children—stubborn, threenager, bully, defiant, drama queen.
It’s as if these labels are their permanent identity. When we do this, we’re not just describing their behaviour, we’re defining who they are in our minds.
Kids driving you crazy? A small insight that makes a massive difference
Ever heard of confirmation bias? This is a psychological concept where we tend to favor information that confirms our existing beliefs.
In other words, we like proving ourselves right. When it comes to parenting, if you believe your child is stubborn, you’ll unconsciously look for behaviours that confirm this belief.
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You start to see their actions through a biased lens, and every little act of defiance stands out, reinforcing your original judgment. You see… She’s so stubborn! As she refuses to take a shower. You see… He’s so rude! After he answers back at your simple request. You see… He’s so ungrateful! After having a meltdown over not getting ice cream for dessert even though you’d just baked his favourite cookies, cleaned up the painting activities that last like one minute, and peeled off the Frube yogurt wrappers your daughter hides under the sofa. |
It’s these thoughts that drive us crazy and resentful. It’s not our child’s behaviour that’s the real issue, but the meaning we attach to their behaviour.
You see, when we see our child’s meltdown and think “he’s so ungrateful,” it triggers feelings of frustration and resentment. We begin to believe that our efforts are unappreciated, making us feel like our hard work is ignored.
This interpretation of their behaviour leads to negative emotions and reactions, which only escalate the situation.
It’s this kind of thinking that really makes our kids drive us crazy.
When we let these judgments cloud our perspective, it not only intensifies our frustration but also creates more tension and conflict in our interactions with them.
These judgments leave us feeling stuck, thinking our kids are the problem.
We get triggered by their behaviour and the meaning we attach to it, spending a lot of time trying to change them.
While it’s important to guide our children toward better behaviour, staying out of judgement gives us more options and a clearer perspective.
Kids driving you crazy? Start here
First of all, take a step back to gain some perspective
SAY WHAT YOU SEE®️ really is the missing step in parenting. It’s how you can get into a neutral place where you can actually ‘see’ what IS happening separate from what you ‘think’ is happening.
Notice how different you feel about yourself and your child when you use SWYS neutral observations.
Your child refuses to go to bed and is crying
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By focusing on what you actually see and hear rather than jumping to judgments, you’ll likely find yourself feeling less frustrated and more connected.
Instead of viewing interactions as battles or problems to fix, you begin to approach them with a sense of curiosity and understanding.
This shift not only changes how you respond but also how your child responds to you, leading to more positive and constructive interactions.
It’s from here, when your child feels understood and connected, that they will open up to your guidance, and you can move to the next two steps of our coaching model: STRENGTHs and CAN DOs.
At your wit’s end with your child’s behaviour and looking for something that really works? Want a simple, actionable plan that can start making a difference in just a few minutes a day?
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As a qualified, authorised child behaviour specialist and parenting coach, I provide personalised support and practical solutions to turn your parenting challenges into a calm, happy, peaceful home.
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What other parents are saying after working with me:
“Camilla was the answer to our prayers. I am endlessly grateful to her and only wish I’d found her sooner.” Louisa, Mum of 2
“Camilla coached us through different methods. Methods which I had never thought about, but gave us incredible results in a very short space of time, methods which we still use now and are so easy to implement on a daily basis. I am no longer the shouty mum I used to be. And my relationship with my kids has changed so much, I often wonder why I hadn’t started this journey sooner.’ Lucy, Mum of 3
“I was stuck in a pretty unpleasant vicious circle, with three awesome small children and was ruining it. I was afraid they would grow up and not trust me. Within the first couple of weeks working with Camilla I saw positive changes.” Claire, Mum of 3
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