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Kids Driving You Crazy? Read This To Find How One Small Shift Can Make All The Difference.

 

Parenting…being on lockdown and at home. all. day can feel a little claustrophobic and stressful, don’t you think?

Have toddlers that you can’t leave for a minute? I salute you. It’s relentless…
In fact, most days it can feel like a never ending cycle of chaos. The kids are bickering, you’ve dealt with the gazillionth tantrum before you’ve even had a your first coffee, and your toddler is trying to fling themselves down the stairs.

You’re so sure that if your more stubborn child would just calm down, things would be SO much easier, and you wouldn’t be shouting like a crazy person just to be heard.

But did you know that the way we THINK about our children makes all the difference to how we react and in turn the kind of results we get.

I’ve noticed we often judge our children—stubborn, threenager, bully, defiant, drama queen—as if this is who our children are.

Ever heard of confirmation bias? Basically, we like proving ourselves right, so we go out proving our thoughts by gathering evidence…We start to see behaviour through this lens.

 

You see… She’s so stubborn! As she refuses to take a shower. 

You see… He’s so rude!  After he answers back at your simple request. 

You see… He’s so ungrateful! After having a meltdown over not getting ice cream for dessert even though you’d just baked his favourite cookies, cleaned up the painting activities that last like one minute, and peeled off the Frube yogurt wrappers your daughter hides under the sofa.

 

As REAL as these thoughts might seem, it leads us to believe this is WHO our child is. She’s inherently stubborn. difficult. rude,

 

When in fact, these are just our judgements about behaviour we DON’T like.

These judgments leave a lot of people feeling stuck in a not so great place thinking that their kids are the problem.We’re triggered, by their behaviour and the meaning we give it, into spending copious amount of time trying to train it out of our kids. Not to say we don’t urge our children toward better behaviour, but when you can stay out of judgment more options open up to you.

First of all, take a step back to gain some perspective because when you’re having these judgments about your child, there’s no question that you’re seeing the situation as you versus them, as a problem to fix.

SAY WHAT YOU SEE®️ really is the missing step in parenting. It’s how you can get into a neutral place where you can actually ‘see’ what IS happening separatefrom what you ‘think’ is happening.

It’s from here, when your child feels understood and connected, that they will open up to your guidance, and you can move to the next two steps of our coaching model: STRENGTHs and CAN DOs. You can find hundreds of examples of SAY WHAT YOU SEE, STRENGTHs and CAN DOs in our new phrase booklets.

Why is it super important to become aware of how we speak to our children?

One of the premises, of Language of Listening®, the 3-part framework I use and teach, says, “Children act according to who they believe they are.”

That’s why judging your child’s behaviour is such a problem. Judging their behaviour, whether through your words or in your reactions, makes it about who your child IS… and they believe you.

It’s how their beliefs are formed. It becomes their inner voice: “This is who I am.”  To help your child see themselves through their STRENGTHs, try this today:

Notice how you speak to or think about your child.

Instead of judgments, ask yourself…“Why would my brilliant child behave like that? What makes sense about their behaviour?” 

Then, tell me: How does ditching the judgments transform the way you talk to or think about your child and the results you get?

Would you like more support? If home life feels like a daily battleground and you want to have a more fun, relaxed, happy family life let’s chat. You can schedule a complimentary, no-obligation call. You can do that by clicking right here.

OTHER POSTS YOU MIGHT LIKE

  • How do I get my kids to listen without yelling, threats or bribes?
  • A Surprising Trick That Will Get Your Toddler to Listen Better
  • One Insanely Easy Way to Stop Your Child’s Back-chat

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  • No more shouting out of pure frustration
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Hi I’m Camilla!

I support parents to restore harmony to their household and fun to their family life.  

I have a teen and a nearly teen and I know just what it’s like to navigate the trials and tribulations of parenting. 

Dive into the large collection of blog posts for free parenting guidance.

“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.”― Dr. Seuss, I Can Read With My Eyes Shut!

About me

It will give you a simple yet powerful way to gain the willing cooperation you’re after. 

Imagine:

  • No more shouting out of pure frustration
  • No more bribing or threatening just to get your kids to do as you ask
  • No more power struggles and stress

Sign up

3 Language of Listening® Printable Phrase Booklets

You just want to know what to say or do…RIGHT NOW!!!

Page by page you’ll find HUNDREDS of examples of EXACTLY what to say to your child in MOMENTS YOU FACE EVERYDAY. SAY WHAT YOU SEE®, STRENGTHs, and CAN DOs.

FIND OUT MORE
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Get In Touch

  • 07958 941 802
  • camilla@keepingyourcoolparenting.com

Keeping Your Cool

Parenting