Stop Toddler Whining For Good – Try This Remarkable Trick

Let’s look at 4 ways to

stop toddler whining for good while keeping your cool and empowering your child to control their own behaviour so you don’t have to!

1. Close the loop

The first premise of Language of Listening® is: Everything children do and say is a communication, and children must continue to communicate until they are heard.

Stop toddler whining for good by closing the loop

Your toddler will keep whining and getting louder and louder and even more aggressive as they try to communicate to you what they want or need.

I call this the broken loop because if we don’t close the loop, if we don’t hear what our child is trying to communicate, we don’t give our child any other option than for the whining, crying and fussing to increase.

So often we can dismiss this behaviour as manipulative and our child trying to get their way. I like looking at it as our child just trying to feel heard and understood.

The first step to stop toddler whining for good and bring some calm back to the situation is to acknowledge your child’s wants.

You can and should still hold your boundaries, but by first acknowledging your child’s wants, you’ll be surprised at what a difference it makes.

So many of my clients tell me that using Language of Listening’s first step of Say What You See® drastically changes their child’s behaviour in moments.

2. Change your perspective

The truth is, your child perceives the world differently from you. Often, we’re so focused on pushing our own agenda that we overlook the importance of slowing down and seeing things from their perspective.

To be able to stop toddler whining for good we have to first understand things from our child’s perceptive. 

Considering things from your child’s viewpoint allows you to grasp the reasons behind their whining. We tend to dismiss their desires as trivial (we all know how toddlers can whine over seemingly insignificant things!). However, when they resort to whining, it’s a clear signal that they are trying to communicate what matters to them.

Remember, acknowledging your child’s desires doesn’t imply agreement or the need to change your boundaries. It simply means recognising their perspective and validating their feelings.

You can read more about this first step in free download:‘How to get your kids to listen willingly.’

3. Look behind the behaviour to the need.

What does my child need?

Meeting your child’s needs is the only way to help them stop whining for good

When you focus on getting your child’s needs met in a way that you do like, the whining will automatically stop.

Recognising and helping your child meet their needs helps them feel more settled, less anxious and able to return to a calmer state.

4. Helping your child change their own behaviour.

All children already have every possible inner strength. Take that in for a moment! Your child already is helpful, kind, generous, friendly, motivated, self-controlled, considerate… it’s already there.

Looking for their strengths and bringing them out helps your child see themselves in that light, too.

Why is that important?

Because children act according to who they believe they are. Often when they’re whining to get their needs met, we tell them off, shout at them and punish them. This leads them to feel even more misunderstood, powerless or that they can’t get it right, and you guessed it – straight into the behaviour you don’t want to see.

Stop whining for good

If you have a persistent whiner or grumbler on your hands, this won’t change things overnight. To reverse this habit your child needs persistent practice and proof they CAN get their needs and wants met without whining.

However, when you focus your attention on helping your child get their needs met in a way you do LIKE and use STRENGTHs to point out their greatness, you will see whining become a thing of the past.

Are you ready for more examples of exactly what to say and do in everyday situations? Imagine not having to repeat yourself and not having to deal with the same situation over and over again.

This is your next step…

The Language of Listening Collection, £15

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What other parents are saying after working with me: 

“Camilla was the answer to our prayers. I am endlessly grateful to her and only wish I’d found her sooner.” Louisa, Mum of 2

“Camilla coached us through different methods. Methods which I had never thought about, but gave us incredible results in a very short space of time, methods which we still use now and are so easy to implement on a daily basis. I am no longer the shouty mum I used to be. And my relationship with my kids has changed so much, I often wonder why I hadn’t started this journey sooner.’ Lucy, Mum of 3 

“I was stuck in a pretty unpleasant vicious circle, with three awesome small children and was ruining it. I was afraid they would grow up and not trust me. Within the first couple of weeks working with Camilla I saw positive changes.” Claire, Mum of 3

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