My child is disrespectful and rude.
A simple powerful strategy for an angry disrespectful child
What can I do?
If you’re asking this question. You’re not alone.
Many parents face disrespectful and rude behaviour, and it can be incredibly frustrating.
I remember thinking of my daughter is disrespectful and rude. I would chat with anyone who would listen about her mean and disrespectful behaviour.
Every conversation turned into a venting session filled with stories of her defiance and rudeness. It was like I was keeping score, tallying up every instance of her disrespect.
My frustration grew with every passing day.
I didn’t realise at the time that I was trying to put out a fire by blowing on it. I used all my energy, but the flames only grew stronger.
That’s what happens when we spend energy on the wrong things. By focusing on trying to change her behaviour itself, I was unknowingly fuelling the fire.
But what if I told you that the key to transforming your child’s disrespectful and rude behaviour starts with changing your own perception?
Becoming aware of this changed my life and my daughter’s behaviour. I realised that disrespect is actually my thought. It’s not about my child’s behaviour.
Let me explain
Because we don’t react to our child’s behaviour. We react to what we perceive.
I used to be so sure I could see disrespect, rudeness, defiance, stubbornness, and not listening. But you can’t. It’s not there. It’s a thought. It’s a judgement.
Why understanding why a child is disrespectful and rude changes your child’s disrespectful behaviour.
How do we naturally react when we think our child is being disrespectful and rude? Of course, it’s hard to stay calm, loving, and connected. Our reactions are the perfect reactions to what we perceive.
What’s the perfect reaction to a child being disrespectful, stubborn, or rude? When you are sure that what you see is disrespectful or rude, the perfect reaction is to feel upset, angry, and even lose your cool.
If you’re having a hard time stopping yelling at your kids, read this!
How to deal with an angry disrespectful child?
I want to give you another way to respond.
Imagine you’re walking down the street and you see someone wearing a bright red shirt. Instantly, you think to yourself, “Wow, that shirt is so bright and fun.” Now, imagine your friend walking alongside you sees the same person but thinks, “That shirt looks so garish and tacky.” Same person, same shirt, but two completely different judgements.
In essence, a judgement is just your perception of a situation.
It’s not an absolute truth but rather how you interpret what’s happening based on your own experiences, beliefs, and emotions.
Now, apply this concept to parenting.
When your child sounds rude, instead of automatically seeing disrespect, what if you saw a child who wanted to explain her side of the situation?
It’s like changing the lens through which you view their behaviour. It’s not about denying what’s happening, but rather understanding that there may be another way to interpret that behaviour.
Recognising this allows you to pause, reconsider, and respond with empathy and understanding rather than reacting impulsively based on your initial judgement.
Rather than try to change a reaction that’s already perfect—one that’s automatic and designed into you for a reason—it’s easier and way more effective to change your perception.
Or imagine your child is refusing to do their homework. Instead of immediately seeing it as defiance, consider that they may be struggling, feeling anxious about school, or simply needing a break after a long day. By reframing your perception, you can respond with empathy and support, helping them overcome challenges rather than escalating the situation with frustration or anger.
Trying to change your reactions is really hard. When you change your perceptions, your reactions change automatically—easily and effortlessly.
Language of Listening® offers a coaching perspective and tools to do just that. Want to master how you respond to your child with ease and joy? In my 10-week parenting pathway course, I provide the exact tools so you learn how to see situations and your child’s behaviour in new ways. Want to see if parent coaching could be just what you need?
Book a 15 minute informal chat to explore how we can work together to create the family life you’ve been dreaming of. Let’s get started. Click here to book your call.
Once you master your new coaching perspective, you’ll be able to use your new skills to change any tricky situation with a child into a rewarding one.
You’ll see your child in new ways that allow you to react with understanding and patience, staying calm and cool so you can show up as the perfect parent you already are.
Reframe Your Child’s Behaviour
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By shifting your perception, your automatic reactions change.
Instead of reacting with frustration or anger, you may find yourself responding with empathy and patience. This change isn’t about forcing yourself to react differently; it’s about seeing your child’s behaviour in a new light.
So, how do you think you’d react differently if you changed the way you saw disrespectful and rude behaviour?
What possibilities open up for you? It all starts with how you see things.
If you’re looking for practical tools to handle challenging moments with confidence, less stress, and more connection, my Keeping Your Cool Parenting course is exactly what you need!
At your wit’s end with your child’s behaviour and looking for something that really works? Want a simple, actionable plan that can start making a difference in just a few minutes a day?
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As a qualified, authorised child behaviour specialist and parenting coach, I provide personalised support and practical solutions to turn your parenting challenges into a calm, happy, peaceful home.
Parent coaching is like having a trusty guide on your parenting journey Let’s chat. You can schedule a complimentary, no-obligation call. You can do that by clicking right here.
What other parents are saying after working with me:
“Camilla was the answer to our prayers. I am endlessly grateful to her and only wish I’d found her sooner.” Louisa, Mum of 2
“Camilla coached us through different methods. Methods which I had never thought about, but gave us incredible results in a very short space of time, methods which we still use now and are so easy to implement on a daily basis. I am no longer the shouty mum I used to be. And my relationship with my kids has changed so much, I often wonder why I hadn’t started this journey sooner.’ Lucy, Mum of 3
“I was stuck in a pretty unpleasant vicious circle, with three awesome small children and was ruining it. I was afraid they would grow up and not trust me. Within the first couple of weeks working with Camilla I saw positive changes.” Claire, Mum of 3
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