And the thing is, we received this pair of socks randomly in the post from a catalogue and being the end of term and Christmas fast approaching I haven’t got my act together to order any more. And socks go missing in my house! I know this isn’t just me? right? Anyone else has a sock eating monster? Please let me know if you have the same problem?
So this morning, Well this morning…
We had the beginning of a full-blown mega-meltdown.
My husband was waiting for her to be ready so she could be dropped off at a playdate and NO socks!!!!
I could feel the temperature rising and the manic descending.
So what to do?
It is in these moments we can add more fuel to the fire or throw a huge bucket of cold water onto the situation and put the whole fire out.
Here are my top 3 tips.
1. Stay calm
Take a deep breath and walk out of the room if you need to. Do not engage. Give her a moment to feel her own frustration.
p.s You think you don’t have time? Believe me! 2 minutes of calm is going to save you a huge amount of time and struggles.
2. Acknowledge her frustration
No judging, fixing, questions, teaching.
This is NOT the time for:
“Well, if you just put them away then you’ll know where they were.” “Where do you think they are?” or “Stop fussing, they’re only socks!” or for threats “If you don’t pull yourself together, that’s it! no friends house!” all this will just escalate the misery.
“Oh sweetie, you really want to go to your friend’s house and we can’t find your favourite socks. That is SOOO frustrating.”
Offer a hug if she will accept one.
This is the time to calm everything down. We all need to get back to our thinking rational brains.
3. Now, this is a big one! Don’t pay attention to HOW she sounds. pay attention to WHAT she says.
When your child is frustrated, she is going to sound rude. this is not the time to teach her how to speak respectfully.
She is talking in that ear-splitting, trigger pushing tone because she is frustrated not because she is being rude. — This is my mantra in those crazy moments!
The only way to calm the situation down is through YOU staying calm. Your child in those moments will not lead the way.
“It seems to me sweetie, you have two options. you can wear another pair of socks or your sandals.”
And I left it at that.
No more communication.
Give your child space.
And within moments, she was putting on her sandals.
And now, I’m busy trying to remember where those socks came from and how I can buy a truckload of them. or just buy her boots with that fur lining and then no need to socks.
Hi! I’m Camilla, a Language of Listening® parent coach, and I support parents just like you to transform family life with the magic of Language of Listening® Click here to get my Empowered Parenting Free mini-course – just three simple steps to radically change the way you parent.