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The Phrase That Saved Our Camping Trip

Read on to learn how best to support your child through their emotional needs and transform a tricky situation into a positive one.

 

“I’m not staying here! I can’t believe there’s NOOOO internet. How am I going to listen to music or speak to my friends?! This is stupid!” My 12-year-old daughter stormed off to the car.

We’d just arrived at the campsite after a long drive and this was NOT what I was in the mood to deal with.

I had flashes of disaster as I was putting the tent up, imagining her refusing to do anything we had planned on our camping trip or being in a sulk the whole time, I so wanted us to have a fun family trip together.

In the past, I would have said something like: “Do you know how ungrateful you are?” or even “You’re ruining it for everyone, it’s no big deal you don’t have good WIFI.”

But I knew those words would just have added fuel to the fire. Causing more of the behaviour I didn’t want. If I had responded to her behaviour through the eyes of judgment, I wouldn’t have seen my struggling girl, I would have felt annoyed and resentful and a compulsion to control her or fix the situation.

I reminded myself this was a tough transition for my children who are used to being hooked up to WIFI 24/7.

So, how did I respond this time?

I used the first step from the Language of Listening® framework. Say What You See® This step has the amazing ability to help you stay out of judgement. It helps you see the world through your child’s eyes.

I said- “That sucks! You hate not being in contact with your friends.”

As I watched her kick her legs up on the dashboard, I saw her tears began to flow as she felt safe to let out her frustrations and upsets, I began to watch her adapt to her situation.

Within 10 minutes she jumped out of the car, gave me a massive hug and without asking started to unload the car.

When we give our children the permission to be, when we don’t jump in to fix the situation or try and use guilt or shame to change their behaviour, we give them the space they need to adapt.

Look out and see how your child looks relaxed and content after crying, remember to SAY WHAT YOU SEE and point out the STRENGTH:

SWYS: “You got all your tears out and now you’re smiling.”

STRENGTH: “You knew just what you needed to calm yourself.”

 When you finish your interaction by pointing out STRENGTHs it allows your child to recognise their greatness.

It leaves your child feeling great about who they are. They get to have an inner voice of “I can trust my inner guidance, I know exactly what I need to calm myself, I can handle any big emotion, I’m resilient!”

And not to mention you will have a much calmer and simpler time holding your boundaries instead of trying to control or fix it for your child.

OTHER POSTS YOU MIGHT LIKE

  • 7 reasons threats don’t work and what to do instead.
  • How do I get my kids to listen without yelling, threats or bribes?
  • A Stubborn, Defiant Child? A Super Easy Way To Get Them To Listen and Cooperate

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Hi I’m Camilla!

I support parents to restore harmony to their household and fun to their family life.  

I have a teen and a nearly teen and I know just what it’s like to navigate the trials and tribulations of parenting. 

Dive into the large collection of blog posts for free parenting guidance.

“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.”― Dr. Seuss, I Can Read With My Eyes Shut!

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It will give you a simple yet powerful way to gain the willing cooperation you’re after. 

Imagine:

  • No more shouting out of pure frustration
  • No more bribing or threatening just to get your kids to do as you ask
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