QUESTION: Recently my son has been getting really worked up and upset about going into preschool, after some inconsistent attendance due to chicken pox and holidays etc. I feel really bad making him go when he is so upset about it. I have tried to talk it through with him to see what the issues are but it just seems to be that he would rather hang out with me and his brother for the day. He calms down as soon as he can’t see me anymore and he is always very happy when I pick him up, but at drop off has to basically be pulled off me. Any advice appreciated!
Rachel was fed up. Every. Single. Day. Her 3 boys would fight over who’s turn it was, and the bickering and tantrums would completely hijack family time. One day Rachel decided enough was in fact enough! “Fight over the Xbox and no one gets to play, and you’ll go straight to your room....” And sure enough, a quick fix. A strong consequence and the fighting stopped…for a few days. When the sting of the threat subsided, the arguing started all over again.
Question: “Just wondered if anyone had any advice for me?? I have two children, the eldest is a very strong willed 4-year-old daughter. My hubby and I have just taken the children on holiday with my parents. Every day my daughter has been a drama where she has had tantrums, continuous moaning and really ungrateful behaviour...In short, her behaviour has been truly awful on holiday!!
The other day my daughter came downstairs for breakfast demanding I make her pancakes. and if we had time I might have. That morning, we were running late for school and it just wasn’t going to happen. It was a toast or cereal kind of morning. I bet you can imagine how this situation could all end in a power struggle and tears… I’m sure it happens in thousands of homes every morning. The First step to change is challenging situations with our child is focusing on what IS happening rather than what's NOT happening.
My husband and I used to joke that the background noise of our life was my daughter’s whining. The toddler years for me were no easy feat. And I knew deep down there had to be another way. With all my years in teaching and my degree in primary education, Nothing prepared me for my toddler’s antics.
I get it! Parenting is hard work, sometimes it is a struggle just to make it through the day. Threats are easy, they roll off the tongue so quickly and to begin with, we might even think that they work. However, the positive results we get from threatening our children with consequences are mostly short term. If you take a deep breath and step back, you can become aware that our own behaviour and reactive tools we use actually have a negative effect in the medium to long-term and makes parenting a whole lot more stressful than it needs to be.