Maybe you’re getting the car loaded up ready for a trip to visit family or maybe like me, ready to host a family Christmas. Feeling excited or stressed? This time of year can become difficult to navigate with family members you might not have seen in a while or drive you up the wall. (That reminds me of a time when my daughter was young and I said a family member was driving me up the wall, and she said “what wall mummy?”) Maybe you have a family member who’s the ‘perfect’ parent, even though they don’t have kids. Telling you what you should do when your child invariably has a meltdown. Maybe your parents just don’t ‘get’ how you’re raising your children and are still very old school. You may feel judged by your choices.
My son was crying, he’s just SO tired. He really didn’t want to go to school and would have been happy to curl up in a ball under his duvet and hide the day away. And who could blame him, don’t we all? What with the school plays, pantomimes, shopping and the excitement of Christmas… it’s enough to get us all stressed out. Then there are too many late nights, a house full of extended family and out of whack routines that can bring out the worst in all our children. And if you have a more explosive child, it’s like a ticking time bomb. Ready for a megawatt outburst of too much overwhelm and emotions. Want to know what keeps me and my kids sane over the next few weeks?
My husband and I used to joke that the background noise of our life was my daughter’s whining. The toddler years for me were no easy feat. And I knew deep down there had to be another way. With all my years in teaching and my degree in primary education, Nothing prepared me for my toddler’s antics.
“If only SHE would JUST listen to me and stop being so naughty I wouldn’t have to shout at her.” I bemoaned to a good friend. My daughter's tantrums would push me over the edge and I felt stuck in this never-ending power struggle. Wishing that things could just be simple and calm... Calm that's what I would wish for. It was so easy to resign myself to my present reality when I didn't see a way out. Really! is THIS my parenting journey?
One of life’s luxuries! A trip to the supermarket kid free... I was strolling slowly down the aisle taking my time for once, without having to stop or fend off “Can I HAAAAVVEEEEE…” or wrestle down the sweet aisle.. (Know what I mean?!) A mum and her two boys were hurrying past me, probably a mad dash to the supermarket before an afterschool club, she was grabbing items off the shelves and her boys were giggling while helping put the items into the trolley.
A good few years ago now, I remember being in this constant state of parenting overwhelm, struggling to make it through the day without my daughter having a mega tantrum, losing my cool or having endless power struggles. I love my kids but I wasn’t enjoying the journey. I felt stuck. Things only began to change when I woke up off parenting autopilot and become aware of the tools in my parenting toolkit.
I am going to share with you WHY typical consequences don't work and 5 ways that do work that build lasting change without power struggles and stress. Have you ever sat around with friends dreaming up consequences that fit your kid’s misbehaviour? I know I have in the past when I'd had enough of my kid's behaviour and just didn't know what else to do. We mean well as parents, we want the best for our kids and we want to stop the chaos and regain some calm...
Whether you’re dealing with full-blown disrespect, back-chat, tantrums or want to know why situations seem to escalate into a full-blown mega meltdown. Understanding our communication is a simple way to completely change the dynamics with your child. These common parenting pit falls should be avoided to bring calm to any sitaution.
Imagine having kids that WANT to listen to you and do as you ask! How much easier would our parenting journey would be?! The way we were parented is engrained into our psyche. Parenting decisions handed down from the generation before. From the way, we handle tantrums, back talk or not listening. I spent years following the advice of generations before, “Be stronger, show her who’s boss, take things away, cancel playdates....” But I had this little niggling feeling. I didn’t want this for my family. That parenting doesn’t have to be this way. It can be hard to find a new way and follow a new path.
So, What is mental health? Mental health is to do with the way we think and feel. We can think of it as our emotional wellbeing. Did you know that our mental health can change in the same way our physical health can?
My top 5 reasons why emotionally intelligent discipline is something we need to be focusing on. I was trying to cajole my daughter to leave a play date and she was having none of it! Running off, hiding with her friend, shouting that she wanted to stay longer….. My patience was waining… And you know what? A few years ago I would have reacted VERY differently to how I react now. I know first-hand, how difficult this can be. Our parenting blue print is to focus on short-term compliance.