Coping with tantrums is without doubt, one of the most draining and challenging problems of raising children. Dealing with a child's constant tantrums is very stressful, understanding why tantrums happen and how to respond can help put a stop to them for good. Often, we don’t realise that we are adding more fuel to the fire, and a meltdown can quickly get out of hand and last far longer than necessary.
As difficult as it can be, apologising to your child is a great way to model how to take responsibility for your actions and learn from them, it also shows that to make mistakes is normal, it is to be human. You want your child to be able to take accountability for their own actions, know it’s O.K to make mistakes and how to repair, find solutions and move on. Read on to find out what to say and what not to say when you apologise to your child.
Is your child’s constant whining the background noise of your life? Are you feeling frustrated about how to handle their behaviour? Maybe you’ve tried to ignore it only for it to get louder and louder, and you’re running out of patience. You're not alone. Lots of parents are dealing with this kind of ear-splitting behaviour, but all is not lost. Read on to find out more about how you can stop the whining for good.
What should have been a lovely bonding time for our family ended in chaos. We’d been to crazy golf, and before long, it ended in tears, stomping off and meltdowns. My daughter was losing, so she wanted to take multiple swings and take the ball and place it where it was easy to get it in the hole. The other families looked on in shock as a heated argument broke out. And as you’d expect… this trip didn’t end well.
The school mums meant well, but I really needed them to stop talking, They couldn't stop my daughter's tantrum - here's what worked instead. I was eager to collect my 7-year-old daughter from school. I’d dropped her off that morning with her swimming bag packed. She’d prepared her swimsuit, towel and goggles days ago, ready to swim with her class for the first time. As I waited by the school gates, I watched her coming towards me. She didn’t look as animated as I thought she would be - a bit wet and bedraggled, and not happy.
It's 5 minutes before we have to leave for school. The kids don’t have their shoes on, the sun-cream is not applied, and my daughter’s hair looks a mess. AGHHHHH. And here it is. This. is. the. fork in the road. It’s our own reactions that make all the difference to how this situation unfolds. I give a 5-minute warning. And no response from my daughter. At least my son is busy putting his shoes on. I find my daughter trying to watch a YouTube video, even though we have a no-screen-before-school-rule.
I sat at the table while my strong-willed toddler let out an enormous screech. We were having lunch at a local café and after a short while she wanted up out of her seat. I leaned in close and offered a few calming words to try and get her to sit a bit longer. It didn’t work. She screeched even louder. My cheeks turned red as the other customers gawped at this unfolding power struggle.
How to deal with toddler meltdowns when you're out and about
Life during lockdown can feel chaotic. Our kids are addicted to their screens, we’re physically and emotionally worn out trying to juggle it all, then throw bickering kids into the mix and your head’s ready to explode. No wonder we’ve had enough and can feel very raw and emotional. So, what are some things we can do to positively affect the mood in our homes?
I have a few clear memories of when my children were young, and I thought it was my mummy duty to demand sharing. My 3-year old daughter fought with her brother over whose turn it was to play with the train tracks, the bubble making machine, the Elmo costume… and enter the endless kerfuffle of having two kids who just HAD to have the exact same toy, even though neither wanted it a second ago. Maybe you can relate? It’s so HARD as a parent to know what the best way to teach sharing is. Especially if you find yourself in a playdate or playground, and you have a ‘grabber’ on your hands and all eyes on you. What do you do?!
Back-chat, talking back, disrespectful behaviour. Whatever you call it, I bet it can make your blood boil. I’ve heard from many parents whose kids are driving them up the wall... Dealing with backchat can be challenging, especially when your child is rude, always wants his own way and the disrespectful behaviour is fuelled with aggression and refusing to do what you ask. I know how easily it can change the family dynamics.
“You’re her mother, you should make her wear a coat!” I was told by my well-meaning mother-in-law. We joke in my family that if my daughter finally wears a coat, you KNOW it must be cold! I did reply: “What age does she need to be to decide if she’s warm enough, especially if I’ve been telling her, her whole life she’s wrong to feel how she does? You see, with the best of intentions we can override our child’s inner compass and squelch their emotional intelligence.
Does this sound familiar? -You tell your toddler not to throw his toys, he looks at you square in the eyes and does it anyway. -You ask your 6 -year-old to stop playing, it’s bath time. She has a mega meltdown, an hour’s passed before she’s anywhere near the bathroom. -Your 13-year-old wants to play video games with his friends, but he needs to see daylight, and screens are taking over family life. When you insist he come out for a walk, he explodes with such anger that it leaves you feeling infuriated, worn-out and powerless.
Master tantrum coach.
I support parents of children under ten years of age who’s lives have been taken over by their child’s tantrums and out of control behaviour. Restoring calm to your household and joy to your family life.
I have a teen and a nearly teen and I know just what it’s like to navigate the trials and tribulations of parenting.