A few years ago I was stuck in what I can only describe as a “parenting rut”. I felt that sinking mummy guilt. You know, the one that hits you when you are lying in bed just about to drift off to sleep – that overwhelming sinking feeling that you are somehow not good enough.
My two children are so different from each other. My son is very easy going, whilst my daughter is an extremely strong-willed child who I often found exhausting trying to control.
Don’t get me wrong, I have always loved my children but I was stuck in a negative cycle of shouting, stress and inevitable guilt. I just knew parenting shouldn’t be like this, but I didn’t have a way out.
To get my kids to listen I resorted to punishments with timeouts, taking things away and cancelling playdates all in the belief that this was my role, that this would lead to better behaviour.
I thought “If only my kids could just listen, do as they were told then I wouldn’t be so stressed, I wouldn’t have to shout at them”. I was making myself angrier every day. I started to feel resentful towards my children.
It was only when I knew that something had to change and that we couldn’t go on like this anymore, that I took a huge leap of faith – I enrolled on a Positive Parenting course and haven’t looked back.
It’s still not always plain sailing, but within a few weeks of starting the course, my family had changed for the best. No more stress, power struggles or punishments and I’m now an ex-shouter.
I have children who are willing to listen to me, who look to me for advice and guidance because they “want” to. It has changed our world for the better.
The connection I have with my children is deeper than I ever thought possible. For the first time, I feel I am the deserving leader, not a dictator who demands obedience.
Who knew you could stop the punishments and rewards and remain in charge and have better-behaved children?
Why didn’t I know this earlier instead of all those moments wasted to stress and worry?
You too can choose to stop the stress and worry and begin having the type of family relationship you dream of. The only question is:
“When do I want my life to start getting better?”