A regular day with a more strong-willed child was no plain sailing.
It’s noisy. Relentless. Challenging.
All would be going to plan.
Quiet playtime √
Bath time √
Story time tick √
Suddenly the pyjamas she was wearing weren’t the ones she REALLY wanted and it ALL KICKED OFF.
Ever wondered why utter chaos can unfold in the blink of an eye?
I know you have the best intentions to remain calm and then a situation arises, and you take a curveball.
One minute all is calm and the next its utter chaos….
So, here it was.
Dealing with a toddler who was kicking off and all I could think of was a glass of wine waiting for me downstairs…I wanted ME time.
I had thought these explosive outbursts were just what I had to get used to. I’d blame my daughter’s behaviour for my reactions. But I had to be honest with myself here.
I was giving her all the power to control these situations, rather than focusing on what I added to the stress.
The best piece of parenting advice I was EVER given was “When we change, our kids WILL follow.”
I knew I had to be the one in charge. I knew I had to change.
I didn’t want my kids to think of me as a mean and shouty mum.
I didn’t want to mess my kids up by shouting at them and being all snarky.
And because it’s just not what I signed up to, being stuck in a power struggle with a three-year-old. It’s just not fun!
So now nearly every time I reflect on HOW and WHAT went wrong, you know that time when all was calm and easy and then BAM. I can pretty much always trace it back to falling headfirst into one of the following parenting traps.
What I like to call communication escalation. My 9 common parenting traps.
It’s only with awareness that we can begin to have different outcomes to these situations.
These common communications are a sure-fire way to add fuel to the fire and escalate situations.
Yes! your child might still kick off because she’s wearing the ‘wrong’ pajamas, that’s kids for ya! but least you’ll now know how the words you use can only help calm the whole situation down.
Print it, put it on your fridge, inside the kitchen cupboard, as a reminder of what NOT to say.
Want to find out more and learn more about the power of communication? Get in touch. I would love to hear from you.
Hi! I’m Camilla, a Language of Listening® parent coach, and I support parents just like you to transform family life with the magic of Language of Listening®