How would you respond?
How you respond will lead you to ease or stress.
We can so easily go into reacting in the moment.
Let’s pause and think of what you REALLY need and what is actually age-appropriate behaviour.
This starts by asking a few questions.
- Is it ok for my son to be walking around a table?
- Is he causing chaos?
- Is the cafe full?
- Is he disrupting anyone?
- Is it age-appropriate behaviour?
- Do I need to step in to change behaviour?
What you want to happen is not right or wrong, we all have our own boundaries and limits.
It is just how we go about it.
This path I’m about to explain leads to connection and peace while having our boundaries kept.
What’s not to like hey? This is how you get your kids to WANT TO listen to you AND you get to stay calm and in charge.
Language of Listening® teaches 3 easy to remember steps:
- SAY WHAT YOU SEE® without judgment.
- Say the STRENGTH you see in your child.
- Give a CAN DO
So this is how it would look in the above example.
- “Sweetie, I can see you walking around the table, you look so busy and it looks fun.”
- “You remembered to keep close to me, that way you won’t get lost. You’re remembering the rules. That takes great self-control to stay close.”
- “You want to keep busy, we’re leaving soon and I need you to stay close, Hmm Wonder what you can do?”
Stage 3 is amazing. We teach our kids to become problem solvers. Even a 3-year-old can come with their own ideas.
For little ones, if they can’t yet come up with their own solutions, you can calmly follow through. In this case, bring him closer.
What do you think of the steps?
I would love to hear if you give them a go.
Hi! I’m Camilla, a Language of Listening® parent coach, and I support parents just like you to transform family life with the magic of Language of Listening® Download my class now, learn just three simple steps to radically change the way, you parent.